ROCK FBI
by Dark Angel20
Summary: This is a story exagerated to the max about skaters, pop idol and Vampires and the music industry. It is a comedy so dont take it seriously. *Sorry there hasn't been any updates in a while there will be some by next week*
1. Here we are the begining

[pic]They are a Really. Organized. Crew. K FBI (R.O.C.K FBI for short)  
  
Their job is to rid England of the evil force of the Destiny's Child and Atomic Kitten. Which have for years polluted and brainwash the world with their subliminal message music.  
  
H is quite intelligent, but still has a lot of his crazy character instincts. He has a girlfriend named Jen.  
  
Faye is the strongest member of the group physically. But her only companion is her dog Jasper who stays at home; she secretly loves Lee but is to scared to say anything.  
  
Lisa is a computer wiz and a techno freak. And not married although she does have a thing for Pete.  
  
Pete (Yes Waterman) he is the leader of the group knowing all the freaky other stuff no one really cares about.  
  
Lee is also secret agent but he has to live in a crypt due the fact he is a vampire. He lives with his best mate Spike and their girlfriend Ann and Kit.  
  
Claire is a lot younger than the rest of the group and just follows them about occasionally she is planning to become a vampire (by seducing Lee) when she leaves university the only obstacle is Ann his long term (extremely cool) vampire girlfriend.  
  
At R.O.C.K headquarters Pete, H, Faye and Lisa are all sitting round a giant table wearing hoodies and carrying skateboards discussing what to do about the giant increase in poor quality pop and RnB music.  
  
Pete: We need to get this sorted.  
  
H: Chill Pete, we working on it. (He says playing with a fingerboard and paying no attention)  
  
Faye: We need to cut them off right at the source.  
  
Lisa: we need to annihilate the songwriters.  
  
H: Yeah but then what happens then? They'll start to write their own stuff  
  
Lisa: Good point that would be soooo much worse!  
  
Claire bursts into the room on a skateboard yelling.  
  
Claire: WASSSUPPP  
  
All: Respect.  
  
H: Sup! How was uni?  
  
Pete: Hurry up, sit down, we need to concentrate.  
  
All: OOOOOOO stress!  
  
Lee, Spike & Kat burst in the door wearing black and chains covered in blankets so they don't catch fire. 


	2. OH NO KIDNAPPED

Out of breath and panicking.  
  
Lee: Quick, there's a problem she's gone they've taken her.  
  
Kit: Yeah hurry grab your coats we have to get her back who knows what they're gonna to do to her.  
  
Spike: And weapons bring lots of bloody weapons  
  
Lisa: Ok calm down slower what's going on who's been kidnapped  
  
Lee: Ann (starts to get tears in his eyes and weeps) she's gone  
  
H: Its ok mate we'll get the people who did this.  
  
Lisa: Where would they have taken her?  
  
Kit: Who knows lets check their breading ground.  
  
Faye: JIVE! Bustards  
  
Claire: Lets go where's the car keys?  
  
Pete: In your dreams I'm driving.  
  
Lee: Ok who cares can we just hurry up!  
  
The vamp's grabs their blankets and jump into Spikes blacked out Space- Cruiser. Everyone else jumps into Pete's jeep armed with microphones and electric guitars. They pull up outside JIVE recording studio. They run round to the back entrance so as not to get noticed by the security cameras. Faye boots down the door the all run in and run for the stairs to different levels. Pete is last in because he had to park the car he enters the building through the front entrance and takes the lift.  
  
Meanwhile: The guys are searching every room, opening it and trashing it with their guitars. They hear a loud scream.  
  
Ann: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
Lee: It's Ann she's this way.  
  
Everybody has herd the scream and is running towards it. They all meet up outside the door.  
  
Faye: Ready everybody? Mic's on, amps on full?  
  
Everybody nods. They burst into a room where Atomic Kitten have tied Ann up in a chair and are forcing her to listen to their new album they are circling her yelping "you can make me whole again"  
  
Everybody: AAHHHH what is this trash quick.  
  
Atomic Kitten notice them come in the door and turn up the volume on their stereo.  
  
Lee: Faye get the plugs, Lisa disconnect there mic's Spike, H, Kit, hit it. The guys start playing Nirvana full blast just as Claire bursts out with "With the lights out its less dangerous" Atomic Kitten fall onto the floor covering their ears, Pete runs over to Ann and unties her.  
  
Pete: Ann it's Pete are you ok? Can you still mosh?  
  
Ann: My ears!! Wait is that.  
  
Pete: Yes it is  
  
Ann: Nirvana Aahhhh (sighs with relief and starts to mosh) Lee you came to rescue me! You all did.  
  
H ties up Atomic Kitten and snaps their album in two.  
  
Lee goes over to Ann and gives her a full on kiss. :o) (music stops everyone smiles)  
  
Pete: Job well done peeps lets breakout of this dump.  
  
Everyone stars to pick up their guitars and mic's Lee and Ann are still kissing.  
  
Spike: (coughs) Err hum. (They continue) Err hum, 'scuse me err can I? May I just? Erm OI ROMEO!  
  
Lee: Oh sorry got carried away, (Ann looks about)  
  
Ann: Yeah sorry guys. Are we ready to leave?  
  
Kit: No thanks to you.  
  
Lisa: I hate to spoil the chat guys but security is coming up the stairs.  
  
Faye: Let me at um (she grabs a drumstick and looks as if she's going to stab them Spike, Kit, Ann, Lee all dive onto the floor)  
  
Spike: WOO watch what your doing  
  
Kit: That happens to be a very dangerous weapon  
  
Ann: Do you mind Faye, please some of us our a little sensitive to splinters!  
  
Faye: OOPPS sorry I'll just put it down (puts down the stick and backs away giggling.)  
  
Lee: I think that's safest don't you?  
  
Spike: Living people hide the security guards are in the hall dead guys mask up.  
  
Spike/Ann/Kit and Lee mask up and eat the security guards they drop dead to the floor. 


	3. Simon TROUSERS Cowell

This scene is set in Faye's flat. She is sitting in bed with a TV dinner watching the 11 'o' clock news.  
  
TV: And finally tonight another shock as new celebrity couple have announced their engagement after 10 minutes of meeting each other. Simon 'trousers' Cowel and Tash 'fish face' Kitten announced their engagement at their local supermarket earlier today. The couple have said to have found true love in the frozen food section.  
  
Faye: Great more couples just what I need to make me feel more alone and more single than I already am.  
  
Oh Lee, If only Ann wasn't around I could get to you without having to hurt you, if only I wasn't a coward and could tell you how I felt, if only you weren't the living dead.  
  
TV: A flash announcement has come in Simon 'trousers' Cowel has just brought JIVE record company now making him the biggest pop freak around. He and his new fiancé Tash 'fish face' Kitten have just signed joint ownership in the company.  
  
Faye: OMG I have to call Pete. Jasper this is huge.  
  
Jasper barks. Ruff, Ruff.  
  
Faye calls Pete.  
  
Pete: Hello  
  
Faye: Hi Pete switch on to BBC1  
  
Pete: Ok is it that nice news presenter lady that I like?  
  
Faye: Erm no look just do it ok. Pause while Pete switches over.  
  
Pete: OMG If they get married you know what this means?  
  
Faye: Yep pop world domination through brainwashing and subliminal messages, with him writing songs and her performing them were doomed.  
  
Pete: Emergency meeting tomorrow ROCK HQ 11am  
  
Faye: Ok I'll call the others. Bye.  
  
Faye hangs up and calls Lisa who is staring at her picture of Pete that is tied to an inflatable man that sits on her sofa or on those cold nights in her bed.  
  
Ring, Ring  
  
Lisa: Pete? Is that you? I've been waiting for you my whole life.  
  
Faye: What no lis it's me Faye why do you always answer the phone like that?  
  
Lisa: like what?  
  
Faye: By calling every one Pete?  
  
Lisa: I do I never noticed (starts doing a nervous giggle uncontrollably) HAHAHHAHAHAHA  
  
Faye: LISA clam down, I actually just phoned you to say there's an emergency meeting tomorrow at ROCK HQ.  
  
Lisa: Oh .ok, what time? Will Pete be there?  
  
Faye: 11am And of course Pete's going to be there he runs the place, what's your obsession with Pete?  
  
Lisa: (in a rush.) Obsession, what obsession oh sorry got to go bye.  
  
Lisa hangs up on Faye.  
  
Faye: Weird! Oh well ay Jasper.  
  
Faye phones Lees/Ann's/Kits and Spikes crypt. At the crypt.  
  
Answer phone: Were out leave a message 'BEEP'  
  
Faye: Nice message guys, and since when do the living dead need answer phones? Erm yeah any way back to the point, meeting tomorrow 11am ROCK HQ don't miss it there's something really important we need to tell you. The world needs our help again. Bye.  
  
Claire & H are together in secret in bed at Claire's house. Faye rings them up. Ring. Ring  
  
H: Hello scantily clad man in naughty position with nude woman how may I help? (Claire giggles)  
  
Faye: H? What are you doing answering the phone at Claire's house?  
  
H: Erm is not what you think I'm cleaning!  
  
Faye: What your cleaning at 12pm in someone else's house (twigs to what's going on) NOOOO really? You two?  
  
Claire snatches the phone from H.  
  
Claire: Faye its me look its not like that, really  
  
Faye: Yeah rite, don't lie. Claire and H sitting in a tree k.i.s.s.i.n.g. hahaha.  
  
Claire: Please don't tell anybody we want to keep this a secret.  
  
Faye: I bet you do H is happily involved with Jen.  
  
H snatches the phone off Claire  
  
H: I know look something happened  
  
Faye: Your not kidding.  
  
H: Is there a reason you phoned? Or was it just to pry into peoples private lives?  
  
Faye: Chill meeting 11am ROCK HQ Pick me up 10.30 at my house we can talk then.  
  
H hangs up the phone.  
  
Claire: OMG what are we going to tell her?  
  
H: More importantly what are we going to tell Jen? 


End file.
